I think my life was near perfect before I left
I didn’t need two months of change… I’m going to try and enjoy it but I feel unwelcome at times. I don’t like that.. I don’t know how to keep busy. I need to get a hobby.
I miss the way things were before I left and they will never be at that point again. I’m going to go back and have year round school and a full-time job. I need to enjoy this but I don’t know if I can. It’s hard to feel out of place and to not speak as well as you thought you did. More so disappointing. I worked out yesterday and it felt really good but that’s only an hour of my day..
I like the way I am
I liked that my life had no drama, I liked not remembering the last time I cried because I thought I lost all emotions…
Recently, this isn’t the case and it’s good to know I’m real and all but I miss that.
LETS GO THROUGH THE PAST MONTH
got told off by my roommate/close friend
found out she’d been lying to me for the past month to my face
lost my best friend of close to 8 years over it cause he couldn’t have my back when i needed it and lied to my face as well
tried dating my other best friend and ruined a life long friendship over a 6 day relationship.
managed to upset a lot of people around me, a lot of my close girlfriends
ruined a friendship of someone else to try to get the truth in my own situation
i’ve been all around a selfish person and put myself first in many situations when i shouldn’t have which instigated arguments and fights
everyone around me knew something and kept it from me even when i was crying to them about my premonitions.
taken things out on people
made accusations
tried to move out
neglected to keep up with priorities
stopped working.
alex dropped my SLR
tom’s moving to detroit
ericka fucked with me again by having me pick her up from troy
FUCK.
despite all of this. I’m going back to my old ways.
NO MAS EMOCIONES PARA MI, SOLAMENTE YO Y YO MISMO. NO QUIERO NINGUNA MAS DE ESTO, QUIERO EL PASADO. QUIERO UNA VIDA SENCILLA CON FAMILIA Y AMIGOS QUE SON AUTENTICOS…
FIN. FIN CON TODOS.
